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Chapter 7- Yvette

One day a Mormon missionary from the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints came knocking on the Churchill’s door. He was dressed very smartly and introduced himself as Thornton Wolffe. “Good evening, I apologize to intrude upon you in your home at such a time as this, but judgement day is fast approaching and you must repent and save your soul.”

“Woah, woah,” cried Devon. “My wife and I don’t want any part of that. Thanks for but thanks.”

“Not so fast! Did you know that in our religion you get to have multiple wives? I have 14 wives by the way, and 21 children. Almost every female in town is either married to me or one of my offspring. The only women who don’t belong to me are the wives of the six other elders and your wife of course. You’re the only male in town over the age of 16 who is not an elder. We would like to invite you to join our cult and become an elder. Here, allow me to introduce my beautiful eldest daughter, Felicia. She’s the child of my legal wife Morganna and she just entered into womanhood a few weeks ago and is ready to be arranged into a marriage. She can be your second wife, if you wish.”

Felicia: “It’s a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.” WHEW! Daddy, you didn’t tell me he was FILTHY RICH! “Are you familiar with our beliefs?”

“No, I’ve never read the Book of Mormon. I don’t follow religious books. In fact, I don’t really like to read all that much.”

Thornton: “Truly, you must give faith a chance. The benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.”
Devon: “Uh, disadvantages? Like, what do you mean?”
Thornton: “Oh, you will find that having more than wife is great entertainment… but sometimes it can be pretty stressful.”

Felicia: “And sons are kicked out at 16 unless deemed worthy to be one of the important elders in the community. There needs to always be a neighborhood ratio of females to males 3:1, minimally.
Devon: “Why is that?” Devon thought lovingly of his own little boy asleep upstairs.
Felicia: “Because a man can’t get to heaven unless he has at least three wives.”
Devon: “Then how do women get to heaven?”
Felicia: “Only if their husband lets them in. You’ll let me into heaven, won’t you Devon? All the other elders have so many wives already and my daddy wants me to have lots of attention. I am his favorite, you know.”
Devon looked Felicia up and down. Yes, he thought. I can see why she is the favored one.

As they talked for many more hours, Devon contemplated how exciting it would be to live the life of playboy Hugh Hefner, surrounded by a hoard of concubines. Except in this case, they’d be viewed as wives, and he’d be a respected elder in the community with a certain degree of power. But how would Yvette react? He decided to call her right away on her cell phone and ask her.

Meanwhile, Yvette was grocery shopping when her cell rang. After hearing what her husband had to say, she immediately ran outside and threw up.

When she got back from the store, Yvette had a nervous breakdown crying and screaming at her husband. But he had his heart set on this and told her that if she had a problem with his new lifestyle, then she was not obligated to stay with him. He’d grant her a divorce and let her leave in peace.

Devon: “Yvette…”
Yvette: “Don’t touch me!”
Devon: “I love you, please be with me.”
Yvette: “Then don’t do this.”
Devon: “I have to. I wholeheartedly believe that I won’t get to heaven unless I have three wives.”
Yvette did love Devon, and she did not want to break up their family and everything they had built together.

Yvette: “Okay my beloved, but only if you promise that I’m the only one you’re intimate with and the only mother of your children.”
Devon: “I promise.”

That night, Yvette cuddled Brandon tightly. “Shhh, don’t worry my little one,” she sobbed. “No one is going to kick you out when you turn 16. You can stay with us as long as you need to.”

The next day, Devon and Felicia had a ceremony to be bound as husband and wife.

Their wedding was very small, with only Yvette and the elders invited. Devon’s grandmother was not even invited and Yvette did not wish to attend. She wanted nothing to do with this marriage and pretended that Felicia was not in the house.

Yvette made it very clear to Felicia that she was not Devon’s true wife and if she even tried to touch her husband, she’d be sorry. Felicia’s bedroom was next door to the one Yvette shared with Devon and sometimes Felicia tip toed in to see what being married was really like.

Felicia’s empty womb ached and many nights she cried herself to sleep.

It turns out that Yvette’s barfing wasn’t just the shock of upsetting news… it was because Yvette was expecting again. She gave birth to a little girl named Lillian.

Lillian grew into a friendly, affectionate toddler who loved to play.

Felicia became increasingly worried that she’d never be a mother. She decided to do something about it because women in the FLDS community had absolutely no worth unless they produced children. She put on sexy lingerie and tried to seduce Devon. When that didn’t work, she threatened his power.

Felicia: “You need to fulfill your marital responsibilities or I will complain to the elders and they will chastise you and strip you of your rank among the elite.


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